Friday 30 September 2016

I ask God

I ask God to forgive me for my mistakes 10 times a day, every day of my life.

All I want to be is a good father.

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

How does a father display his ALL, within his own body.. I have to do work.  I have so much work to do, to make You realize that YOU are, my EVERYTHING.

I Miss You Oshone
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Kwaku (I have to pick up Your Birthday Gift tomorrow!!)
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife

I have thought about You all day today, and now that I am home from work, I will think of You more. 

I Love You so much and I hope that You have had a beautiful day. 
Please have a gorgeous weekend.  You will be in my thoughts throughout.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Rest well.

Love,

Daddy

11:31 pm on Friday, September 30th/2016

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You.  Every thought I have includes memories of You, and ponderings of what You may look like today.  I have not seen You in over 4 years, so oh my.. the changes that You have made I really cannot imagine.  This saddens me.  It brings me joy to know that You are healthy and strong which takes away my sadness.

I Miss You.  Have a beautiful weekend filled with happiness and abundant smiles!!

I absolutely Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Love,

Daddy

Happy Friday Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You!  This is the last day of school for the week, and I know You must be looking forward to the weekend.  I want to say, have a beautiful day at school and I absolutely wish I were with You to prepare Your breakfast in the morning.  To make Your lunches, and to drive You to school, and pick You up from school.  In my heart, this is the way it should be. 

I said a profound prayer for You last night before I fell asleep.  It had to do with the Universe doing what is best for You, not me.  It dealt with Your Joy, and Happiness and prioritizing Your best interests, and no one else's.  It was very deep, and I am happy that this streamed from me, unselfishly.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (Six more days!!!!)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I Miss You so much.

Love,

Daddy

Thursday 29 September 2016

Good night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Oshone.  I wish I were with You to tuck You into bed.
Good Night Amari.  I wish I were with You to pull Your blanket over You while You rest.
Good Night Kwaku.  I wish I were with You so that I could hold You when You cry.
Good Night Na'Zyia.  I wish I were with You so that I could whisper I Love You in Your ear.
Good Night Ife.  I wish I were with You so that I could hold You tight.  To give You big hugs.

I hope You had a great day at school.  Introducing Friday!!  You made it through the week, and I am so proud of You.  It is now 11:31 pm on Thursday, September 29th and I have just arrived home from work.  I'm beat!  However, I cannot stop thinking of You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

I just want You to know that I Love You, and I have not stopped Loving You, and I will go on Loving You.

I Love You so much.
I Miss You.

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I pray that Your day at school is going well.  I hope from the highest place in my heart, that You are smiling right at this very moment (1:53 pm on September 29th, 2016 - Thursday).

I think of You every second of every day.  You are all that matters to me.  I said it.  I'm going to say it again.

YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME OSHONE, AMARI, KWAKU, NA'ZYIA, IFE

I Love You

Have a beautiful day and remember - You can find the good in any situation.  You can!

Love,

Daddy

Kwaku Kijana

I Love You Kwaku.  I am sorry, in a way that I have never been sorry for not being in Your life.  I am truly sorry.

I want to say that I am going to pick up Your gift in the next few days (most likely over the weekend) and I am so excited for Your birthday.  I hope that You are as well!

I Love You
I Miss You

I am forever sorry

Good morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone
Good Morning Amari
Good Morning Kwaku
Good Morning Na'Zyia
Good Morning Ife

I want to wish You a beautiful day, and especially at school.  It is September 29th, a Thursday and it is 6:36 am.  I am expressing good energy towards You.  I pray that the day is positive, and You receive this good energy. 

I wish to apologize for all my wrongs, and all my faults.  I was not perfect.  For this, I am sorry.

I Miss You with all my heart.

I Love You from the very bottom of my heart.

Love,

Daddy

Wednesday 28 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

I have just arrived home from work, but hope that You have had a wonderful day at school (Wednesday, September 28th/2016).  It is now 11:21 pm and I have not been able to think of anything or anyone else, other than You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

I Miss You so much, and hope also that You are resting well, are warm, comfortable, and smiling while You dream.  I hope Your dreams are joyous! 

I Love You with all My Heart. 
Always have'
Always will.

Daddy Loves You

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You with all my Heart Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.
I am thinking of You.  I am always thinking of You and my Heart hurts everyday because we are not together.

I Miss You.

I pray that You are having a great day at school.

When I come home from work, I will wish You sweet dreams as I wish I was with You.  But, I will be thinking of You.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You and I want to wish You a beautiful day at school today.
You are always on my mind, as my heart breaks every day.
I Miss You Kwaku, Oshone, Ife, Na'Zyia, Amari Mos.  I Miss You so much.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Tuesday 27 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

How I have thought of You.. all day, while at work.  I arrive home, and I have continued my positive thoughts of You.  I Pray that You are comfortable, warm, safe, and looking forward to tomorrow.  I hope You had a great day at school today.  Now that it is late, and You are likely resting, I pray that You have the sweetest of dreams.

I Miss You Oshone
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Kwaku
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I hope that You are having a wonderful day at school today.  I picture You concentrating and then smiling, as You sit in class, during physical education, and enjoying recess with Your friends. 

I Love You with all my Heart. 
I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Miss You Oshone
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Kwaku
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife

I am optimistic that You will have a happy day at school (Tuesday, September 27th/2016).  I am here at my home, thinking of You.  Thinking of You as I always do.  It is 6:40 am this morning, and I am sitting at the computer in the living room wishing I was with You, to make You breakfast, prepare Your lunches, and help You decide what to wear for school, then drive You to school. 

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Monday 26 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Oshone
Good Night Amari
Good Night Kwaku (Your Birthday is Coming!)
Good Night Na'Zyia
Good Night Ife

I Love You.
I hope You had a wonderful day at school.  I have not been able to stop thinking of You.  I always want to think of You because You light my heart.

I Miss You

Rest well Babies!

I Love You so Much

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I hope that You are having a great day at school (Monday, September 6th/2016) @ 12:10 pm.
I wanted to wish You happiness, Love, and Joy.
I want to say that You are always on my mind.
That You are always in my Heart.  That my heart skips a beat every second of every day because You are not in my life, and I am not in Your lives.

I Miss You
I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You.  I want to wish You a great day at school!  Please feel my good energy.  I pray that You focus on what Your teacher says in class today.  I pray that You are interested in what Your teacher says in class because You will be motivated to learn and understand at a higher level.  I have so many things to pass on to You that allowed me to do well in school.  If only I were able to see You..

I feel trapped.  Let us remain positive.

I Love You

I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Sunday 25 September 2016

I Love You Beautiful Angels - Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You With All My Heart

Daddy

I Fall to my Knees for Forgiveness

I Cry...
and..
I Fall..

I am so Sorry.  I am alone in my home.  Yes, I spent the day at Momma Rose's house.  Yes, I have helped her clean the basement of her home. 

But I am home, in my house.  Alone.  And all I want, is my family..

I Miss You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Ask God To Forgive Me For The Mistakes That I Have Made

Good Night Oshone
Good Night Amari
Good Night Kwaku
Good Night Na'Zyia
Good Night Ife

I ask God to forgive me for the mistakes that I Have made Oshone
I ask God to forgive me for the mistakes that I have made Amari
I ask God to forgive me For the mistakes that I have made KWAKU
I ask God to forgive me for the Mistakes that I have made Na'Zyia
I ask God to forgive me for the mistakes that I have Made Ife

Please; please trust me.  Trust that this is from my very heart. 
I wish to read You bedtime stories tonight (Sunday, September 25th/2016 - at (9:45pm). 
I am forever sorry.  I am forever sorry.  I am a man and a father that is deeply sorry.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (I now know what Your birthday gift will be for Your 11th Birthday.  I will buy it for You next week on October 5th/2016)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I just Love You

Good Night Babies

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I am crazy about You, meaning I Love You so much.  There is not anything I want more than to be with You.  I want to be a good father for You.  I wish to be present, as a responsible and the most amazing parent in Your lives; for You.  I want to do the right thing, for You. 

I am trying.  I am so sorry that I am not allowed to be there with You.  It is my fault.

I Love You and want You to know that You are always on my mind.  Everyday, since the day You were born.  It hurts so much, that I wish not to get into...

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Oshone Osai Nkrumah Kahlil, Amari Mosiah Selassie Khamisi, Kwaku Oluwasei Moziah Kijana, Na'Zyia Skye Yaisa-Rose Kween, Ife Lia'Jasiri Uuwemana Kanze

I Miss You so much.  I am sitting at home on a Sunday morning (September 25th/2016) bracing for my punishment.  I expect more punishment.  Never ending pain, because I was not a good husband, nor human being towards Your Momma.  How I am sorry beyond words.  I deserve to live a life of pain, is how I view life because a life without You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife is a life deeply seeped in pain.  I deserve this.  Seriously.

Yet, I am forever sorry.  My remorse goes beyond the average person.  I am so angry at myself for allowing myself to behave outside my character.  I strive to do better each passing day.  I am confident that I will be a good man.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I Love

Love,

Daddy

P.S. I strive to be a better dad, brother, son, and human being

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone
Good Morning Amari
Good Morning Kwaku (my birthday guy!!)
Good Morning Na'Zyia
Good Morning Ife

Happy Sunday to You.  It is 8:59 am and I have You on my mind, because I just Love You and You are my world.  I wish for You a great day, and hope that You enjoy it to the fullest.  I also want to say that as the fall season approaches, I pray that You are safe and warm.  That You are healthy and strong.  That You have Love surrounding You.

I Miss You with all my heart
I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Saturday 24 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I am here, at home thinking of You.  I wanted to wish You sweet dreams, and to let You know that daddy misses You, and Loves You with all my heart.

I really Miss You.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (Oct 5/2016 - Your special day is coming!)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Daddy really Loves You

Love,

Daddy

Good morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good morning wonderful Children,

It is 6:46 am and I cannot sleep because I have You on my mind, every second of every day.  It hurts to be without You.  If only You knew.  I can do nothing that feels good because I have an emptiness inside.  That emptiness is based on the absence of Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  I feel to express my Love, yet it is hard.  How can one smile genuinely, when deep within there is so much pain? 

I still wish to express my Love for You, and this will go on forever.  Of all emotions we embody, none competes with Love.  Love is the most powerful force in the Universe, and with this, I am an eternal optimist; continuously.  I am optimistic that I will one day see You again, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku (my birthday Son), Na'Zyia, Ife.

Have a beautiful Sunday, September 24th/2016.  Enjoy the sunshine and one another's company.  Let light rays bring You joy.  I wish for Your happiness.  I wish for Your smiles.  For You to smile.

I Miss You

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Friday 23 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Babies,

I have You in my heart, and in my mind all day and night.  I Miss You so much!!  It hurts!

I am sorry my messages are not always joyous, and do not display the greatest emotions.  It is because I am suffering without You.  I just want You in my life.  This feels as if I am not truly living.  It really, really hurts.

I Love You and I hope You enjoyed Your Friday while at school.  It is now 11:19pm and I have just arrived home from work, but want to wish You sweet dreams.  Know that I would have tucked You into bed, and kissed You on Your foreheads because I am a father who Loves his Children with all that I am.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (Oct 5th/2016 is coming!!)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Enjoy Your weekend.

Love,

Daddy

Good Afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (Birthday Star)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Good afternoon.  I am just getting ready for work, and You are on my mind.  You are always on my mind because I am not the regular father.  My Love for You goes beyond ordinary.  My Love for You is extraordinary.  That is why I miss You so much, and why my heart is not only broken, but it feels as though it isn't there any longer. 

I just wanted to say that I hope Your day at school is Blessed.  That You have Love surrounding You and therefore within Your Hearts.  That I send You good energy, continuously. 

I Love You beyond..
I Love You to Infinity..
My Love is for You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

It is Friday September 23rd, 2016.  It is a raining morning, and all I can think about is being with You on Your way to school.  I would have Loved to drive You to school today.  I envision us singing (as I always do), and laughing at the top of our lungs.  Just enjoying life, and the presence of each and everyone one of Us bringing; Joy!

I am so sorry for all the things I have done wrong in life, leading Us to separate for so long.  This is my fault, and I look at myself in the mirror each day, with shame.  That is why I apologize to You.

I Love You

I Miss You

Happy Friday Oshone, Amari, Kwaku (hmmm... still have to decide what to buy for Your birthday Kijana), Na'Zyia, Ife

Love,

Daddy

Thursday 22 September 2016

I Hope You Had A Great Day At School Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I wish that I were the man that I am today, 15 years ago.  Today, I have so much to offer financially, emotionally, spiritually, and I have matured.  I am ashamed of myself, for what I have been in the past.  I wish that We could start all over again.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kijana (My birthday child)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

.. I Love You ***ME

I Just Love

Love,

Daddy

Good morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

It is almost Birthday Time Kwaku!!!  Your Birthday!!!  October 5th/2016

I Love You so much wonderful Children.  I Miss You so much.  I pray that You have a great day at school, and please know that there is nothing I want more than to be with You.  That I wish to be there with You driving You to school, and singing songs on the way.  I have so many memories of Us enjoying life together.  I just want to be with You.  That is all I want.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku (my great birthday guy!)
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I Miss You and..

I just Love You

Love,

Daddy

Wednesday 21 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You so much Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I hope You had an excellent day at school and that You continue to make progress towards even greater Children than You already are.

I Miss You so much.

Today is a day where while I worked all day, I felt the strongest need and desire to apologize to You.  I am so sorry.  From the bottom of my heart.

I am sorry.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Children.  I hope that You are resting well, as it is 6:47 am on Wednesday, September 21st/2016.  You will no doubt be getting up soon for school.  I want to wish You a joyous and productive day. 

I was thinking; You are the greatest children in the world.  One might ask, how can their daddy know this after being away for so long? (this hurts so much)

This is how..

Oshone - You took a keen eye to books, and would love when I would read to You.  We bought all kinds of puzzles, blocks, animal shapes, and brain teasers when You were young.  When we lived in Etobicoke.  You, I once told Your grade 3 teacher during parent interviews; are the anointed one!  I said to her, "Oshone is going to bring this world a very special work as an expression of her creativity.  Of her brilliance".

Amari - You are a leader by nature.  You know this.  What You must also know, is Your kindness is second to none.  You have a heart of gold, and as big as this globe.  It still amazes me of how You showed caring and generosity at such a young age.  Your Auntie Naye still reminds me of the way You softly touched her cheek, and shared Your snack with her.  All I can do is say, "that's Amari".  Seriously, You are the most giving person I have known.

Kwaku - You are passionate!!  Your level of intensity is remarkable, and several examples come to mind.  You are the one who will jump in a puddle when it's rainy outside, and not only this; when it is so cold, only the special quality in a person could recognize the fun in this.  You would overwhelm me with Your hugs, and I do cherish them.  Of course I cherish them, Kwaku.  I Love You so much, it pains me.  Your face would light up when You would see me.  I will never forget the passion You express, because You wear Your heart on Your sleeve.  I do not ever want You to be hurt. 

Na'Zyia - You are beautiful both inside and out.  The look on Your face when You were in a state of frustration is shattering to my core.  I mean this.  You would make your face shake, and to this day, it moves me.  However, the look on Your face when You were happy, has twice the effect.  You would melt my heart with one look, and anything You would want, You would get.  I used to Love the way You ran, by the way.  It always put a smile on my face (i'm sitting here picturing Your little legs, Your clenched jaw, and Your hands behind Your back as You would run). 

Ife - You have the most powerful emotions I have seen in a human being.  You have the inner strength to move mountains and here is how I know.  When You would cry, it would bring tears to my eyes.  Your tears would always make me move quickly to keep You from crying, because this hurt me in a way that is difficult to describe.  What I am saying is, You have a powerful cry.  In order to contain such emotion, You are incredible strong.  That is why I surmised, You have the strength to move mountains.  You can do and be anything in this world, Ife.  I have seen this in You for the first Four Years of Your Life.  The years we spent together.

I Miss You Oshone
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Kwaku - I cannot wait until it is Your Birthday!!!
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife

I Miss You from the bottom of my heart.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku - 14 days till Your Birthday!!
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

... and I just really do.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Tuesday 20 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife (Kwaku.. October 5th/2016 - Your special day is coming!)

Goodnight Oshone
Goodnight Amari
Goodnight Kwaku (my birthday guy)
Goodnight Na'Zyia
Goodnight Ife

I Love You and I Miss You with all my heart.  Although my heart breaks every single day I am without You, I will work hard, and pray that being a good person will lead us back together again.

Again, I am working very hard so that I am allowed to one day see You again.  This is my prayer.

I Miss You
I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku (my birthday guy), Na'Zyia, Ife

I hope that Your day is going well.  If You could only be a part of my life.  That is all I ask of.  This is all I want.  For me to be in Your lives, and for You to be in mine.

I am sorry.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku (my great son - Your Birthday is Coming!!), Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You and wanted to say to You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife..
that the way I Miss You..

.. it hurts to deeply to speak.

Have a beautiful day at school.

I Miss You

Monday 19 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You.

I hope You had a wonderful day, filled with smiles and laughter!  I have thought of You all day, and wish to tell You that there is no where in the world I would rather be, than with You.  All I want is to be with You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  I told a friend today that it feels like drowning every second because I can't breathe.  It hurts so bad.

I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You

I hope that Your day at school has been going very well.  I mean this.  I hope that everyone is treating You with respect, and that You are getting along with Your school mates and teachers.  You are heavy on my mind, all the time.  Always.

I Miss YOU

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku - Big Birthday Son
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

This Monday, September 18th/2016

I hope that You have a wonderful Monday at school.  I am thinking of You.  Continuously.

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

.. and I really do.

I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Sunday 18 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Miss You so much!!!  And this forever hurts me...

I hope You had a wonderful weekend, and spent all Your time smiling.  I hope You are looking forward to a great week at school. 

I am here, wishing You a good night; that You rest well, and have the sweetest of dreams.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Happy Sunday September 18th/2016 Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Ife, Oshone, Na'Zyia, Amari, KWAKU

I Love You with all my heart.  Good morning to You great children!

I want to wish You a wonderful Sunday, and want to say that I Miss You so much.  So much..

I pray that You smile brightly throughout this day, and all days moving forward.  You are in my heart, and on my mind continuously.  I will be thinking of You as I always do.

I Miss You
I Love You

Love,

Daddy

KWAKU!  Your day is coming.  I spend a good amount of time thinking of the perfect gift for You.  You deserve the world.  I'm doing my best to give You the world.

I Love You Kijana

Saturday 17 September 2016

Good Night Babies. Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You So Much.

I have You in my heart, and in my soul.  I did spend time with Momma Rose tonight, and we spoke of You.  She gave me kind wisdom, and hope.  I thank her greatly for this, as I am weak for my children from time to time.  Meaning, I start to believe that I will never see You again, and this hurts more than words could ever describe. 

I pray that You are resting well, and that You have Love in Your hearts.  I wish so badly to protect You, and provide for You.  I am doing, in this time, all that I can.  Trust.

Sweet dreams, and please just know from the depths of my heart that I Love You so. 
Please know... so hard to explain with words.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Love,

Daddy

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Miss You.  I hope that You are enjoying Your Saturday.  I can do nothing but think of You.  All that I do, is think of You.  Everything I do, I do it for You.

I am on my way to Shawn's (Blu's) mothers house to help her clean.  While I am there, we will be speaking highly of You, and in Positive terms only, of course.  She will hear of my Love for You, and all the things I am doing with my life for You.

I am so sorry that I am not there, in Your lives with You. 
I will forever try.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

KWAKU!!!  18 More Days Until YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!  I Am so Excited for YOU!!  I MISS YOU!  AND I LOVE YOU KWAKU KIJANA!

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Sweet Children.  I Miss You with everything inside me.

I wanted to wish You a fantastic weekend, and let You know that I wish more than anything that I could ask for, to be with You.

I pray that You rested well last night, and I did say a good night story while on my knees before I laid myself to rest.  This story was dedicated to You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  It is because You are consistently on my mind, and in my heart.  It is because I Love You so.  It is because I Miss You so.

Please enjoy Your Saturday, September 17th/2016.  Just another day I am here wishing I were there with You. 

I Love You

Kwaku!!  Your special day is coming!!!  I am so excited for You.  Know that I Love You and more than this..

I Love You!  Only for You because only You will understand.

I Love You

Love,
Daddy

Friday 16 September 2016

Good Afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I am Trying To Be There For YOU Oshone
I am Trying To Be There For YOU Amari
I am Trying To Be There For YOU Kwaku
I am Trying To Be There For YOU Na'Zyia
I am Trying To Be There For YOU Ife

I Love You so much and You are all that is on my mind.

Everything I do, I do it for You and the reason is, I Live For My Children.  I am figuring out life, so that You will not need for anything in this world.  This is all that matters to me.  That You have everything You need and want.  I am using my mental strength in every way, to give You all that You need.  This is serious to me, because the only thing I know is that, You should have all that You deserve.  No one has ever given me this.  Yet, this is what I strive to give You.  These are not words alone.  You will see.

I Love You and I hope You enjoyed Your Friday.  Now go ahead, and enjoy Your weekend.  I will spend every second thinking of You, wishing I was with You.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I cannot believe this has happened.

Yet I understand, that it is my fault.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Happy Friday to You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I want to wish You a beautiful Friday, and hope that You enjoy the last day of school for the week of Sept 12th - Septh 16th/2016.  I will send You my good energy, my prayers, and my Love in their highest and positive forms.  I thought of You all night at work (as I always do) last night, and am thinking of YOU all morning, all afternoon, and all night all over again.  It is because I just Love You so much.

I had a conversation with a friend at work last night.  It was interesting because he asked how it is I am liked and loved by everyone, and why he asked, am I the way that I am.  I told him, first of all, I am not even close to as good as You, and our friends think I am.  I have made terrible mistakes in my life.  It is because I have taken a good look at myself, both inside and out, that I strive to be a better man everyday.  That is all I am.  I am not good.  I am trying not to do bad.  What I am is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong.  That I strive to bring joy into everyone's life so that I effect them in a positive way, and not a negative way.  That is all I am.  If I say that I am going to do something, I do it!  I do not lie, cheat, or steal.  I understand the strength it takes to continue on a positive path, and that is what I am.  Steadfast on this new journey.

This is Your father Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

KWAKU!!!  Your birthday is coming!!!  I Love You so much, and I have something special planned for Your special day!

I Miss You Kwaku
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife
I Miss You Oshone

I Love YOU

I pray that You are warm, safe, optimistic, enthusiastic, and full of Love!

Love,

Daddy

Thursday 15 September 2016

Good Afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You

I hope that Your day at school was enjoyable, and that You are motivated to learn more each day.  I encourage You to pursue Your specific passions, and to follow Your dreams.  I write these words, because I am not able to be there in Your lives to stare You eye to eye, with Love, so that You know You have my support in all Your endeavors.  This is because I Love You so much, and I believe that You can be all that You want to be.  I need to repeat this.  You can be anything You want to be.  Trust in Yourself!

I absolutely Love You with all my heart.
I Miss You.

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone. Good Morning Amari. Good Morning Kwaku. Good Morning Na'Zyia. Good Morning Ife.

Good Morning great Children!

I Love You.  I pray that You have the BEST day at school today.  You are in my heart, and on my mind every single second of every day that goes by.  I am optimistic that You are excelling in Your school work, and that You are confident in all that You encounter through Your lives.  You have my emotional, mental, and spiritual support.  My physical support;  that is something I am fighting to give You as well. 

I want to say; KWAKU!!  I Love You!  Your birthday is right around the corner!  October 5th will be here very soon.  Of course, I am sending a gift and buying gifts for You which I will take pictures of and hold onto for You.  I Miss You so much.  Words can never explain to You Kwaku.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kijana
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I Love You so much Children.  If only You knew..
Maybe.. one day

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Wednesday 14 September 2016

Wednesday, September 14th/2016 - 3:30 pm

I hope You had a great day at school Oshone.
I hope You had a great day at school Amari.
I hope You had a great day at school Kwaku.
I hope You had a great day at school Na'Zyia.
I hope You had a great day at school Ife.

I Love You

I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I have spent the entire night at work thinking of You.  I Miss You so much.  I want You to know that the great man that I am becoming is inspired by You.  That You push me to work harder each day, and to strive for more out of this life.  To be able to make You proud, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife; means everything to me.

Kwaku - a brief thought.  I smiled whenever I wanted to cry from missing Yourself, Amari, Oshone, Na'Zyia and Ife, based on the following.  When we were together, You would rap.  Yes, You would!  You would say "Cheeto's and Frito's.  You slipped like Freudian, your first and last step to playing yourself like accordion".  Your hand gestures, and body language was entirely Hip Hop.  You absolutely Loved "Letz Make Muzik" and would want to hear it on repeat.  This made me smile last night at work.  I thank You for this.  For these memories of how close we were.

I Love You with all my heart.  This will become clear in time. 

I Miss You forever.

Love,

Daddy

Tuesday 13 September 2016

I Love YOU Oshone I Love You Amari I Love You Kwaku I Love You Na'Zyia I Love You Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Miss You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I wish I could take You to school as I once did everyday.  I wish I could pick You up from school everyday, as I once did.  These are the little things that hurt so deeply.  I just want to be there for You in every possible way, to show how much I Love You.

I am forever sorry.  This is a different kind of sorry.  The kind where the word does not do justice to the way I feel inside. 

I want You to have the best and most beautiful Tuesday, September 13th/2016 at school.  I will pray that You do well, that You are protected, and that You feel Loved. 

I Love You,

Love,

Daddy

Monday 12 September 2016

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Babies,

I absolutely Love You.  This is real Love.  I Miss You so much. 

I pray that You have a wonderful day at school, this Monday morning.  You are in my thoughts, constantly and I dream of You having everything You deserve.  You deserve the World!  I am doing my best to give this to You.  Please know that I work everyday, and give my job my all in order to support You, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife. 

I really am trying..

I really do Love You with all my Heart

Love,

Daddy

Sunday 11 September 2016

If only You knew

I Love You

.. and I really do

I Only Want to be Good

These thoughts.. these feelings

I strive only to be a good man.  If only people could understand.  I realize that I was not a good person.  I really do.  No; I really feel and know that I was not a good person.  It is impossible for another to get into me.. into my being to recognize that here sits a man who has transformed his whole life.  I am thankful for evolution.  I am so thankful that whatever I may be, one thing that is for certain is that the gift of introspection was given to me.  That I could evaluate my life and change my ways.  To know right from wrong.  To abandon my ego.  To appreciate the perspective of  'her' side of the story, and to have the courage to see through what I believed to be true.  To see that my truth was a lie.  That I have been lying to myself for years.  That I am still lying to myself, because what is good for me, is not good for 'her'.  Though I may pray to be reunited, and to dream of starting all over is a fantasy that will forever be unfulfilled.  Learning from the past, means that one must leave the past in the past.  It is not to be returned to.  This is reality. 

This is reality

Snuggle Bunny

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You so much.  I want You to have a very nice Sunday, and move with Love in Your hearts.  This is what You deserve.  To feel Loved.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Saturday 10 September 2016

Dear Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Sweet Babies,

All I think about is You.

I Miss You from the depths of my being.

I Love You from the Highest of all Mountains.

I am forever sorry..

I Love
I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Rest Nicely

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I pray You have a nice weekend, and Saturday in particular.  I am thinking of You.  Continuously.  Right at this moment, I am picturing Your faces and this alone, brings a Joy; deep within my heart.  Enjoy Your time off school as I recall weekends being highly anticipated by myself when I was in school.  You will come to learn that the weekend is not only here to play, but a time to study as well.  These things will come to You.

I Miss You
..and I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Friday 9 September 2016

Good Afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You with all of my Heart
I Miss You

Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife - You mean the World to me.

I am nothing without You.

I Love You

I pray that You have made more good friends this first week of school, and that You had a wonderful Friday!

I Love You so much

Love,

Daddy

Happy Friday Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You so much!

I want to wish You a beautiful day, and hope that it is enjoyed to the fullest.  Please always pay careful attention in class, because exactly what the teacher speaks to You about, is what You will inevitably be tested on.  It is not that there are 'geniuses' in Your classrooms.  It is that those who listen, learn the most.  Please remember this.  Also, practice makes perfect.  Find a way to become interested in Your subjects.  There are enjoyable aspects of all Your courses, and when You learn to become engaged or intrigued by what You are being taught, You will do better in Your studies.  These are things I learned, but that no one ever told me.  This helped me flourish in school and I will always hope that I will one day.. someday, be allowed to see You again so that I may share all that I've learned.

I Love You and I support You in all that You do.

Again, have a beautiful day Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Miss You

Love,

Daddy

Thursday 8 September 2016

I Hope You had a terrific day at school Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good afternoon Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You.

I pray that Your day at school was phenomenal!  I picture You in class, at recess and playing with Your friends.  I picture You focuses on what the teacher has to say, being uninvolved in the distractions from Your classmates who are not taking their lessons seriously.  You are an inspiration, all of You with Your drive and determination to excel scholastically. 

This makes me proud!  I wish that I were able to make a fatherly contribution aside from child support and these letters.  Know that this breaks my soul in two.

I Love You and will go on expressing nothing but the most exceptional Love a father may give his Children.

Until tomorrow;

I Love You always and forever more.

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You, Children!

I want to wish You a fantastic day at school today, despite the rainy weather.  Recall my previous philosophical words; that You may always find the good in any situation.  In spite of the precipitation, the beautiful trees grow strong with their form of food (rain water), and so to do all the vegetation!  It's a wondrous process that nature engages in, effortlessly. 

I cannot describe how much I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  Words are not enough.

However, I proclaim and scream from the bottom of my heart, to the top of my soul-

I LOVE YOU!

Love,

Daddy

Wednesday 7 September 2016

Dear Children - Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife; I Love You!

I wish for You the most amazing day 2 at school. 
Please know how much I Miss You.
Please know that I Love You with all my Heart, and that I am trying so hard to be in Your lives as a Father.  As a man who wants nothing more than to Love and Support his Children (YOU) in everyway on Earth. 

All I want is to be there for You because I Love You so much.

Again, have a wonderful day as I know You will and I will pray that You smile.

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Tuesday 6 September 2016

Hi Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I hope that You had the most awesome day at school!  For Your first day, I hope You made some new friends who are good people, and in large part, had an excellent experience.  Oshone, if You are in high school, I hope this transition is smooth and You are overjoyed in and of Your new position in school and life.  Kwaku, I hope You have teachers who care more than the Your previous teachers so that they recognize the brilliance in You.  Na'Zyia, I hope You continue to shine bright, and do not let Your popularity sway You from what is most important; Your studies.  Ife, I hope You smile continuously and are eager to learn more each day.  Amari; I pray You express Your kindness to those who deserve it most (although You must remain who You are).

I Love You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

and.. I really do

Love,

Daddy

I Send YOU Positive Energy for School Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone
Good Morning Amari
Good Morning Kwaku
Good Morning Na'Zyia
Good Morning Ife

I want to be there for You so bad.  I am aware that this is the first day of Your 2016/2017 school year.  Please know that I have so much to offer You.  It is only goodness that I am trying to supply in terms of ensuring You remain confident and successful throughout Your lives.  I have prayed every night since I last was able to see You.  I have prayed that we would be together again.  If only You knew how I want to be in Your lives. 

As I always say; in any and every situation, You can always find the positive, even when it all seems undesirable. 

I am saying to You, please remain focused on Your school work and know that I ask God to keep You safe, enthusiastic, and secure.  I ask God to surround You with good people, and that You make good decisions. 

I am saying, please have a wonderful school year, and as I have felt from the day You were born; You will succeed!

I Love You,

Love,

Daddy

Monday 5 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I Love You *****
I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I am truly forever sorry..

Daddy

Sunday 4 September 2016

.. a dream

I only wish good energy, and express good energy on this day..

I pray for Your Happiness.  I pray for Your Joy!  I pray that You feel Love from the inside, out. 
I pray that You are smiling brightly today, of all days.

Happy Birthday

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Oh, do I Miss You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

I am so sorry for all my faults. 
I am sorry for the mistakes that I have made.
I hold myself accountable and responsible for everything I have done wrong in this life.

Most of all, I am so sorry for leaving You.

I Love You,

Love,

Daddy

I Love You With All My Life Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone
Good Morning Amari
Good Morning Kwaku
Good Morning Na'Zyia
Good Morning Ife

I Am Trying!!  Please, if You ever have any doubts about Your father.. please mark these words;

I Am Trying to be there for You.  With all my might, and everything I am.

I Love You.

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I pray that You have a wonderful day.  I dream of a day where we are together again.  It is only a dream.  Yet, it brings me comfort and I imagine that when I am 80 years old, You will know how much I tried.  How I sacrificed for You.  Sacrificed my joy, pride, and happiness for Your well being because You are all that matters to me.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

I Miss You Oshone
I Miss You Amari
I Miss You Kwaku
I Miss You Na'Zyia
I Miss You Ife

Please have a wonderful day, and as You begin the new school year in two days, I will pray that You are successful and strive towards being the best Children and students in the world.

Love,

Daddy

Saturday 3 September 2016

Good Night Sweet Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I have spent the entire day thinking of You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  I have watched videos of You, and have looked at photo's of You.  I Miss You so much, and I am doing everything I possibly can to reunite with You.  Please know that there is not a father on this Earth, that absolutely Loves his Children more than I Love You.  My Love for You is infinite.  These truly are words spoken from my heart.

I Love You so much!
I Miss You so much!

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Morning,

I pray that You rested well and are eager and enthusiastic about today!

I pray that You are guided and protected.  That You feel Love.  That You are Loved!

I pray that You hold Happiness and Joy, deep within Your Hearts!

I Miss You

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

Friday 2 September 2016

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Hello Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

While working late hours, I often say to myself (on repeat) - "feels like all I do is work and think of You".  Then, a great joy comes over me, because I do everything in life for You!  It is the most unselfish feeling I have ever experienced.  I feel this joy, because I literally work for You as a man and father should for his Children.  Why does the nature of oneself kick in, at certain stages of life?  The Universe is an outrageous place, I feel.

I Love You Oshone

I Love You Amari

I Love You Kwaku

I Love You Na'Zyia

I Love You Ife

I Miss You so.. so.. so very much!  It is impossible to describe with words.

Rest well,

Love,

Daddy 

Thursday 1 September 2016

New School Year- Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

As the 2016/2017 school year approaches next week, please know that I am here for You.  Not being in Your lives is something I am trying very hard to change, so that I can bring You joy.  Bring You comfort.  Bring You peace of mind, and happiness.  However, I am here with school supplies, clothes, and wisdom to pass on towards You.  This will never change, until the day I die.  I am not the ordinary dad.  I Live For You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  I am rooted in positive energy, and most of all..

I am coming with Love.. and only Love.

I Love You.. Please rest well and feel my prayers of good energy.  My bedtime stories, and my hugs and kisses.

I Miss You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

Good Night

Love,

Daddy