12:22 pm, Wednesday December 12th/2018 HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSHONE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSHONE,

I wish for You to have the most amazing day of Your life.
I wish for everyone to approach You respectfully and kindly, especially on Your beautiful day.
I wish for You to smile in abundance until Your cheeks begin to hurt.
I wish for You to receive every single thing You desire today.
I wish for You to laugh until tears of joy fall from Your eyes.
I wish for the greatest written pieces of literature to land in Your hands today.
I wish for the greatest ideas to arrive so that You may write the best novel ever today.
I wish for You to eat all Your favourite treats and snacks today.
I wish for You to be treated as the best sister ever on Earth today.
I wish for You to anticipate next years birthday based on the goodness You felt today.
I wish for You to ace Your tests, quizzes, writing assignments and challenges today.
I wish for You to feel confident and proud of who You are today.


I WISH FOR YOU TO FEEL THE LOVE YOUR DADDY HAS FOR YOU TODAY!

I Love You Oshone Osai.

I Miss You.

Love,

Daddy

Friday, October 5th/2018 - 4:47 pm

Happy Birthday, Kwaku!!!!

Good afternoon, wonderful child.  I'm certain You must be a great young man, and though it breaks my heart to have no involvement in Your life, I pray that Your days are bright, with today being one of the most brilliant of Your days.  I Love You so much, Kwaku and I Miss You.  I am aware things can never be the same again, as too much time has passed, but please know that I will never give up on You.  I wish not to bring any pain.

I want only to offer Love.

Happy Birthday again, Kwaku.

I really... really Love You.

I Miss You,

Love,

Dad

Tuesday, July 31st / 2018

Happy Birthday Na'Zyia Skye

I Love You with everything I am. I Miss You so much Na'Zyia. All I have are our moments we shared, and your beautiful smile and loving heart to keep me sane.

I Love You so much and I pray that You have the best birthday of Your life because You deserve this to the fullest.

Love,

Dad

10:45 pm Sunday, July 15th/2018

Amari

I Love You.  I pray that You have had a beautiful day.  Please, I pray You've had the best day of Your life.  I have thought of You through out the entire day, and have tried to smile knowing that You are smiling to. 

I Miss You with all my heart.

This is getting harder and harder for me.  To know that You need me, and I am not there for You.

I am forever sorry, Amari.

I Love You

Good Night Amari
Good Night Oshone
Good Night Kwaku
Good Night Na'Zyia
Good Night Ife

June 25th/2018

Happy Birthday Ife.

I Love You with all my heart.
I Miss You so very much.
I am forever sorry.

I pray that You have had a beautiful day.

Love,

Daddy

Good Morning Oshone
Good Morning Amari
Good Morning Kwaku
Good Morning Na'Zyia
Good Morning Ife


I Love You more than words will ever say.

In the mists of it all, I heard my inner voice communicating positive rays of Love and of life with You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

Then I learned about being at one with myself.  It was as if I was two separate beings battling against each other day in day out.  This made me feel at home with myself.  I greatly appreciate this life for it further motivates me to strive and become a better being.  Today I've got a great job, awesome friends (not a whole lot but the hard to find kind) and acceptance for what was, what is and proud to say I don't know what will be but I'll be willing to accept what is to come in this life.  To anyone listening.. anyone at all out there, including You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife, who read this; know that you are awesome in your own unique way.  Life can be tough, but you can be greater than what you currently are.

None of us are perfect beings but if we forgive and love each other we can take one step closer in becoming a humane society.  Be sure to follow Your dreams and be Yourself.  Be sure to laugh as much as you possibly can each day, but be extra sure to help at least put a smile on someone elses face each day.

Give Life Your Best

Oshone
Amari
Kwaku
Na'Zyia
Ife

I..
Love..
You

Namaste

6:50 pm - Sunday, April 22nd 2018

Good evening Oshone
Good evening Amari
Good evening Kwaku
Good evening Na'Zyia
Good evening Ife

I Miss You with all my heart.  I've not felt inner peace, love, nor joy since we lost one another.  I am still trying as hard as I can to reunite with You because I Love You so much.

I've been visualizing Your days at school and of all the changes You have been making in Your lives.  I pray that You are hopeful, happy and enthusiastic about each moment You live, and each moment to come.

From time to time, my phone rings "unidentified caller" and I just hope that it will be You.  But it never is.

I will continue praying that we will be back together again.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

Daddy

Sunday, April 1st/2018 1:20 pm

Hi Oshone
Hello Amari
Good afternoon Kwaku
Greetings Na'Zyia
God Bless Ife

My heart breaks everyday, because I Miss You so Much.

I Love You

That comes from the Heart of..

Daddy

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

With all that I am.

Daddy

11:06 pm - Wednesday, March 14th/2018

Dear Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife

I am here, without You.  You are somewhere in this world, and I am continuing this dream of mine; that we will someday be reunited.  I hold onto this dream because I want to protect You, Love You, and be there for You in every way that I am capable of.  I have not written as many letters to You recently, as I would like because believe me when I tell You; this hurts.  It is similar to reaching out for a cup of water when you're dying of thirst, knowing the cup is being pulled away from You, elusively.  I write these letters hoping they will land in Your hearts and minds, and that somehow, some way; You will want to spend time with me.  I am not allowed to come to You.  If I were given permission in the form of access, I would be by Your sides every day of my life.

I reflect on the bedtime stories I used to tell You, and the great times we shared when walking to school.  The songs that we would sing.  Do You remember "Moons full R.J.  See You in the morning"?  I share our memories often, but not so often that it breaks me down.  I do fall into persistent states of heartbreak, because our bonds were unbreakable, and I am afraid that they have been broken.  This form of helplessness is the leading cause of my pain, since the day I last saw You Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.

I dream of You every night, and often wake up in the middle of the night thinking of You.  A re-occurring dream is that You do not remember me, and our beautiful times together.  That You sought an explanation for my absence, and I cry in front of You knowing that my response will be insufficient.  This, I have to live with.

I do not look forward to these letters because I wish to remain optimistic in the knowledge that we will be together again (as I said above and have reinforced throughout the majority of my letters to You).  I prefer to imagine that You're having a wonderful March break, and that You are thriving in school and are enjoying Your lives, the way You are supposed to.  I picture You smiling, Kwaku, all the time.  I picture You being focused and determined, Amari, all the time.  I picture You drawing and writing Oshone (I have a picture that You drew for me behind me on the desk in the living room right now which says the "Sky is blue icing, the lake is chocolate, the clouds are strawberries, I Love You Daddy"), I picture You loving everyone near You Ife, I picture You dancing and singing Na'Zyia. 

These thoughts, I embrace because I just want You to be in the presence of perfect Love.

Continuously.

I Miss You Oshone (I am sorry that I was not there for Your grade 8 graduation)
I Miss You Amari (I wish I could be there to watch You graduate this year)
I Miss You Kwaku (Please lift Your chin and smile)
I Miss You Na'Zyia (Please take care of Ife)
I Miss You Ife (Please do not cry)

I Love You

Love,

Daddy

P.S. I am forever sorry

Sunday, February 18th/2018 - 10:08 pm

Good Night Oshone
Good Night Amari
Good Night Kwaku
Good Night Na'Zyia
Good Night Ife

Everyday of my life; I drown.  I wish this upon no one on Earth, or in the Heavens. 

I Miss You so much, Oshone, Mari, Kwaku, Zyia, Ife.  I never point the blame at none other than self.  Myself.  I was not a good husband. 

I am forever sorry.  I will cry for forgiveness until the day I die. 
I am SORRY.

I Love You Oshone
I Love You Amari
I Love You Kwaku
I Love You Na'Zyia
I Love You Ife

With all my heart.
Within every last drop of life that is me.. 

I Love You

..and I am sorry

Dad