Cris Williamson - Waterfall
'Sometimes it takes a rainy day
Just to let you know
Everything's gonna be - all right
All right
I've been dreaming in the sun
won't you wake me up someone
I need a little peace of mind
Wake me from this dream
That I have dreamed so many times
I need a little peace of mind
Oh, I need a little peace of mind
When you open up your life to the living
All things come spilling in on you
And you're flowing like a river
the Changer and the Changed
You've got to spill some over
Spill some over
Spill some over
Over all
Filling up and spilling over
It's an endless waterfall
Filling up and spilling over
Over all
Filling up and spilling over
It's an endless waterfall
Filling up and spilling over
Over all
Like the rain, falling on the ground
Like the rain, falling all around....
Sometimes it takes a rainy day
Just to let you know
Everything's gonna be - All right
I know, I know, I know all right
Filling up and spilling over
An endless waterfall
Filling up and spilling over
Over all
Filling up and spilling over
It's an endless waterfall
Filling up and spilling over
Over all'
Friday, May 13, 2016
Oyo Mari Kijana Zyia Ka Ka
I have returned home from work, with you, my children all over my mind. I Love You all so much. I miss You all with all my heart. And I am sorry from the depths of my being for not being in your lives.
I am trying to be in your lives..
I was thinking, that if I could change the past, how different I would have been. How I would have ensured that I loved your mother in a way that would have kept our family united, embracing Love throughout all time. There would exist only positivity and Love. It saddens me to know that I cannot change the past. What I can do, is focus on being the best human I can be. One who embodies Love and only Love. One who carries goodness and kindness in my heart. One who is confident in the victory of good over all other forces.
Only good, which is what I aspire to be.
I Love You,
Daddy
I am trying to be in your lives..
I was thinking, that if I could change the past, how different I would have been. How I would have ensured that I loved your mother in a way that would have kept our family united, embracing Love throughout all time. There would exist only positivity and Love. It saddens me to know that I cannot change the past. What I can do, is focus on being the best human I can be. One who embodies Love and only Love. One who carries goodness and kindness in my heart. One who is confident in the victory of good over all other forces.
Only good, which is what I aspire to be.
I Love You,
Daddy
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Oshone Amari Kwaku Na'Zyia Ife
Today I fell to my kneels for forgiveness. I have done much to be sorry for..
Hello children. This day (May 11th, 2016), I prayed in all your bedrooms. I have done the same in the past, however, today was different. I really prayed with an intention to speak with God. The following is how my day unfolded.
I arrived at work, and put on a brave face as I always do. This is because everyone see's this glorious light in me, but are completely unaware of my pain. The pain I hold and have because my children are absent from my life. On my lunch break, I was compelled to plead to the Lord for you, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife to come back into my life. I prayed for someone else to come back into my life as well. This is where it get's deep.
In front of my co-workers, I kneeled and stared up at the Skye. I closed my eyes and began apologizing for all my sins. For all the wrong I have done in my life. For hurting a lady I truly Love and for not having the wisdom to facilitate her freedom. Her growth. For not having the knowledge to recognize that True Love is completely unselfish. It trusts! I have grown so much, spiritually that I am ashamed of my previous self. But I am getting off the matter at hand. Praying in presence of people, for the first time, was as though I was on a mountain top. So much light came to me. It get's deeper still.
I have arrived home, and after putting my work clothes away, and washing my hands and face, I continued into my daily routine. I kiss your photo's, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife and say a prayer. I then open the Purple Velvet book that I cherish, and began reading. I wish to share this one particular quote that was gifted.
"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, knowledge of the Spirit can be reached and thus peace can be achieved". ~ Patanjali (B.C. 500?)
This gift (Purple Velvet) is truly special. Why could I not see this all, back then? I shake my head and look down upon myself, shamefully. Literally.
Then this happens! I recall feelings that speak to me. For example, the feeling that I am undeserving of Love after all that I have done. The quote from Patanjali, immersed me in deep thinking. Deep thoughts. My conclusion after heavy thinking is that, how could I have the audacity to believe that True Love will return to me. How could I insult this remarkable Lady by fighting for her, knowing the hurt I have caused. Seriously, how could I add insult to injury by not having the sense and sensibility to just leave her be. I overstand that it is not to be. That the best thing for me to do is move on with my life and wish happiness upon her. This is what should be done, by a man who has truly changed or says that he has. Feels that he has. Complete unselfishness, and just let her be.
With tears in my eyes...
I can't. I really really cannot. I can't move on. I can't explain why, but I just can't. I need Her. I need You, Children. I need to give, and not take a thing from You, and Her. I want to give until I cannot give any more. I wish so bad that my family could see my unselfishness. All my dreams. Let me describe one. One dream is to put aside my life, and focus on making all Your dreams come true. This means, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, and Ife- ensuring that you get all you deserve out of life. This means, ensuring She get's all She deserves out of life. I owe You.
I Love You
Night Night.
Love Daddy
Hello children. This day (May 11th, 2016), I prayed in all your bedrooms. I have done the same in the past, however, today was different. I really prayed with an intention to speak with God. The following is how my day unfolded.
I arrived at work, and put on a brave face as I always do. This is because everyone see's this glorious light in me, but are completely unaware of my pain. The pain I hold and have because my children are absent from my life. On my lunch break, I was compelled to plead to the Lord for you, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife to come back into my life. I prayed for someone else to come back into my life as well. This is where it get's deep.
In front of my co-workers, I kneeled and stared up at the Skye. I closed my eyes and began apologizing for all my sins. For all the wrong I have done in my life. For hurting a lady I truly Love and for not having the wisdom to facilitate her freedom. Her growth. For not having the knowledge to recognize that True Love is completely unselfish. It trusts! I have grown so much, spiritually that I am ashamed of my previous self. But I am getting off the matter at hand. Praying in presence of people, for the first time, was as though I was on a mountain top. So much light came to me. It get's deeper still.
I have arrived home, and after putting my work clothes away, and washing my hands and face, I continued into my daily routine. I kiss your photo's, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife and say a prayer. I then open the Purple Velvet book that I cherish, and began reading. I wish to share this one particular quote that was gifted.
"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, knowledge of the Spirit can be reached and thus peace can be achieved". ~ Patanjali (B.C. 500?)
This gift (Purple Velvet) is truly special. Why could I not see this all, back then? I shake my head and look down upon myself, shamefully. Literally.
Then this happens! I recall feelings that speak to me. For example, the feeling that I am undeserving of Love after all that I have done. The quote from Patanjali, immersed me in deep thinking. Deep thoughts. My conclusion after heavy thinking is that, how could I have the audacity to believe that True Love will return to me. How could I insult this remarkable Lady by fighting for her, knowing the hurt I have caused. Seriously, how could I add insult to injury by not having the sense and sensibility to just leave her be. I overstand that it is not to be. That the best thing for me to do is move on with my life and wish happiness upon her. This is what should be done, by a man who has truly changed or says that he has. Feels that he has. Complete unselfishness, and just let her be.
With tears in my eyes...
I can't. I really really cannot. I can't move on. I can't explain why, but I just can't. I need Her. I need You, Children. I need to give, and not take a thing from You, and Her. I want to give until I cannot give any more. I wish so bad that my family could see my unselfishness. All my dreams. Let me describe one. One dream is to put aside my life, and focus on making all Your dreams come true. This means, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, and Ife- ensuring that you get all you deserve out of life. This means, ensuring She get's all She deserves out of life. I owe You.
I Love You
Night Night.
Love Daddy
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Sorry
There is only one human being on Earth I could Love. Only one I will ever Love. I pray every day. Every night. She is the mother of my children, and the lady I hurt most. I wish to make right, for all my wrongs. To prove I am different and I have changed. That I have made mistakes, and will take every precaution to be twice the boy I once was. To be a true man for you. I think of you every second of every day. I cry for you, as I have mistreated you in so many ways. For You, I would do anything. I will absolutely worship the ground you walk on. These are not only words. My actions will come through if you grant me the chance.
When we separated, I owned nothing. I now own a BMW SUV. I have a 4 bedroom house, with an extra room in the basement. I have furniture throughout our home, and I do this for You. I have a career, which will allow me to provide in the way I knew I should from the beginning. I am sorry I did not treat you the right way. But know that there is a place in a human, that when tapped, completely awakens them. I will sacrifice everything for You and Our Family.
I Love You and I Miss You so...
Deeper still.
I am Forever Sorry
When we separated, I owned nothing. I now own a BMW SUV. I have a 4 bedroom house, with an extra room in the basement. I have furniture throughout our home, and I do this for You. I have a career, which will allow me to provide in the way I knew I should from the beginning. I am sorry I did not treat you the right way. But know that there is a place in a human, that when tapped, completely awakens them. I will sacrifice everything for You and Our Family.
I Love You and I Miss You so...
Deeper still.
I am Forever Sorry
Monday, May 9, 2016
Oshone Amari Kwaku Na'Zyia Ife
I picture your faces, and such pain it brings me. The reason is, because I want to be there with you...
Your Father
Your Father
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
For Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, and Ife
A Terrifying feeling came over me;
That You would think I would ever leave You.. My stomach is immediately upset and I hurt all over my body. Seriously, it hurts in a different way. This pain is ceaseless. It will not stop, in my life. The pain of losing You. The thought that You would think I left You. This is the most impossible to imagine nightmare of my life. I have a feeling it will only grow worse. That there is much more pain and suffering for me on the horizon. I brace for this. All I known for the past 4 years is Pain. I wish this on no one. I am a good man, who has made mistakes in my life. One mistake could not ever, nor will not ever include leaving You. When I moved out of Your house, I made my way towards You every single day. I told those in my life that You, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife come first before anything or anyone. Every one understood this. They knew then, and know now of my devotion to You. That I hurt in a way I cannot type. It is deeper than anything I have ever known. If You only knew how it hurts to write these feelings, but something inside me tells me to do this. To ensure that for those who have told me to give up on fighting for You, and for Us to be together again; that I have stood up and said NO! I will never give up on my children. Even if I am not allowed to see Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife, that my heart breaks every second of every day without You (my children).
Oshone, please know that I Love You and although I am well aware of the feelings you must have for me (not positive), I will fight to show you who I am. That I am a Father who will literally do anything. ANYTHING!!! ANYTHING for You. I am sorry. I am not upset nor am I angered. I am not a negative being.
I am truly a hurt Father
That You would think I would ever leave You.. My stomach is immediately upset and I hurt all over my body. Seriously, it hurts in a different way. This pain is ceaseless. It will not stop, in my life. The pain of losing You. The thought that You would think I left You. This is the most impossible to imagine nightmare of my life. I have a feeling it will only grow worse. That there is much more pain and suffering for me on the horizon. I brace for this. All I known for the past 4 years is Pain. I wish this on no one. I am a good man, who has made mistakes in my life. One mistake could not ever, nor will not ever include leaving You. When I moved out of Your house, I made my way towards You every single day. I told those in my life that You, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife come first before anything or anyone. Every one understood this. They knew then, and know now of my devotion to You. That I hurt in a way I cannot type. It is deeper than anything I have ever known. If You only knew how it hurts to write these feelings, but something inside me tells me to do this. To ensure that for those who have told me to give up on fighting for You, and for Us to be together again; that I have stood up and said NO! I will never give up on my children. Even if I am not allowed to see Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia and Ife, that my heart breaks every second of every day without You (my children).
Oshone, please know that I Love You and although I am well aware of the feelings you must have for me (not positive), I will fight to show you who I am. That I am a Father who will literally do anything. ANYTHING!!! ANYTHING for You. I am sorry. I am not upset nor am I angered. I am not a negative being.
I am truly a hurt Father
Monday, May 2, 2016
Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife
It is 2:39 pm
I have been consumed with You, Oshone
I have not been able to stop thinking about You, Amari
I have lost my breath every time I look at Your photo, Kwaku
I have agony and total sadness sitting here for all this time without you, Na'Zyia
I have tears of pain and sorrow not being able to unite and connect with you, Ife
Knowing that Your birthday is fast approaching, Ife, please know that I go to work, and spend my days thinking of how I would provide joy to Your life. It hurts so much that I cannot not be there so that you would know for sure how much I Love You.
I Miss You
Your Father
I have been consumed with You, Oshone
I have not been able to stop thinking about You, Amari
I have lost my breath every time I look at Your photo, Kwaku
I have agony and total sadness sitting here for all this time without you, Na'Zyia
I have tears of pain and sorrow not being able to unite and connect with you, Ife
Knowing that Your birthday is fast approaching, Ife, please know that I go to work, and spend my days thinking of how I would provide joy to Your life. It hurts so much that I cannot not be there so that you would know for sure how much I Love You.
I Miss You
Your Father
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