Good afternoon, Ife.
What saddens me and brings me to places of extreme anxiety is the fact that I understand you will not remember me. You will not remember our time together. Our very special moments. This is part of the reason I am so motivated to reunite with you, and give you all that you deserve.
When you would go to bed at night, I would hug and tuck in yourself, as well as your brothers and sisters. You did something that only YOU could do. Only YOU would do.
I would hold you, and wrap my arms around you while you fell asleep. I would stay there until I was certain you were fast asleep. I would determine this by the way your breathing would slow, and by the feel of your arms losing their grip around me. I would then gently start to stand up, but as soon as I did, you would squeeze me. You would hold me, and sometimes say, "Daddy". Then I would smile, and begin sitting back down with my upper body and arms holding you as you held me tight. This would go on for almost an hour, until when I had risen for the final time, you would not tighten your grasp (which I loved and still yearn for). Then I knew, you were sleeping.
I want to tell you that I am sorry that I put our family in a position to be divided. That it is my fault, and no one else's that I am not there. That I fight stronger to be with you, because I am trying so hard to correct the mistakes I have made that caused this. How I am fighting is by being an honest man. I do not lie to anyone. I go to court seeking access to you. I have sought professional help to once again, be in your lives. I pay child support. I have my own house which I furnished for all your brothers and sisters. It is a four bedroom house with a big basement, which also doubles as another bedroom. I have a big backyard, which is private and I dream of the day where I can see all of you playing and swimming in the pool. I own many other things, that are not for me. They are for you and your siblings. I have done this to prove that I am a responsible father and man. I have been helped by no one, and pay for everything myself, including the monthly child support (which will increase as I have five children who need more than what I am currently paying). I have been promoted at work several times, and am at the highest level in my department. It is the Laminating department, where only four employees are qualified to work per shift, completely separate from the rest of the company. The company name is "Cascades- a division of Norampac". I have been there for just over two years now, and in that time have become the first ever black (African Canadian) Laminator Operator. I can provide for my family in a way I should have from day one. However, everything happens for a reason and I am in the position I am for good reason.
I want to say that I Love your mother very much and am sorry for the way I treated her. I am saying sorry to both you, Ife and her. I do so because I understand.
Some dreams come true, and some do not. My dream for ever more, will be that all your dreams come true.
Ife,
I Love You
Love,
Daddy
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