Proud, I am not

Hello children,

This message is a sliver of my inner reflections.  This comes at a time when finally, I am able to share from the depths of my being, some of my growth.  This is who I have become, as a human being.  This is a part of my growth.

Hmm.. where shall I begin. 

I stare at this computer screen, in silence, hoping my spirit will allow for the manifestation of my inner being.  Largely, I embody the changes that I have experienced in the absence of human interaction, so that no one can know who I truly am.  They gain their perception of me as I encounter them in my day to day experience.  But no one ever has access to my deepest thoughts, feelings, but maybe see my behavior through my actions.  My actions are loud, despite the fact that they come without words.  Here are some words that have lead to this act of messaging You, Oshone, Amari, Kwaku, Na'Zyia, Ife.  Your father is a person who gives, with no intention of receiving.  I truly consider the life and lives of others, before my own.  I have given myself up, for a higher calling.  A more significant meaning.  Everything I do, is for others.  Not for myself.  I have bought a new car, and fashioned a new house, not for me.  Not for strangers to be enamored with.  I did so because I believed that this is what it would take to make the only Lady I will ever Love see that I have changed, therefore, accept my doings.  This is the truth.  In court, I was not given an opportunity to say that the things I own, are not for me!  I bought these things for the most incredible Lady on this Earth.  I would walk always from all that I presently have, if She would take them.  Take everything, because... (and this is the part I will need You to pay careful attention to), I am not the best thing that happened to You.  I doesn't exist, anymore.  What I give, does.  I'm going to say it again.  What - I - Give - Does exist.  Love exists, whether I am alive or not.  Just because I want to give "MY" Love, does not mean it is in the best interest of Her - 'This Special Lady'.  How selfish can one be, to believe that they deserve to be Loved.  I am referencing myself, here.  What matters most in life, is Your happiness.  Happiness exists, whether I am alive or not.  Happiness does not have to be on account of me.  My evolution has taught me, that Love is sufficient unto Love.  Let Life be.  Let Love be.  I am focused on being a good person.  I have lost the right to give my Love to a Lady, and this should not hurt me.  It is deserving.  Let her be Loved by one deserving.  This should make me happy.  This is the definition and recognition of Love.  Total and complete unselfishness.  Let all be Loved. 

My thoughts go deeper still.  It is very hard to type the words.  The understanding that should be gathered from me, is to never get in the way Love.  Do not stand in the way of Love.  But to let Love find its way.

TO LET LOVE.. Love.

Love,

Daddy